Who's Writing the Plan?

This week has not lent itself to sleeping, but I cannot not write, so you are once again getting a list of thoughts that may or may not be connected:

1. Last time I did this, I slandered lists as “the lowest form of human writing,” but one of you—a teacher of writing workshops no less—emailed to correct me:
“…there are some great list poems and…songs, like Mary Chapin Carpenter's This Shirt.”

2. That is a really good song. 

3. Yesterday, my efforts to reschedule an important medical appointment—which had already involved a week’s worth of insurance-related hoop jumping and a same-day cancellation due to an equipment breakdown at the clinic—ended with a robot asking me, “Did you experience human kindness during your interactions today?” 

4. Our house sprang a leak during the heavy rains that fell on Seattle right before Christmas. At the direction of our insurance company, we immediately took photos of the damage and tarped up the problem area. Yesterday, the insurance rep who will at long last be visiting to greenlight the repairs warned me that since the house is not leaking now, it may be “harder to imagine the water.” 

5. I get that these are run-of-the-mill headaches. Seeing a doctor in America, even if you have insurance, is difficult. Maintaining a home, even if you are lucky enough to own a house, is fraught. I have all sorts of advantages: more education, income, savings, time, and a larger support network than many. And yet these mundane stresses and strains, along with a few others I can’t write about, have nearly overwhelmed me in these first few weeks of the new year. All I could think as I wept on my husband’s shoulder (it’s safe to assume he was eyeing that tarp for himself) was: how on earth do other people manage it all?

6. I know the answer, though: some don’t. Some crack. What I see at the Dispute Resolution Center where I mediate (divorces, parenting plans, workplace disputes, community tensions, etc.) is so much courage—how brave it is to address conflict head-on—but also: so much fragility. So much overwhelm and desperation. In divorces, more often than not, we’re talking about dividing up debt, not assets. The task of crafting parenting plans is inevitably made more complicated by the sheer number of jobs both parents have to hold down. My takeaway from this work is almost always the same: for the vast majority of Americans, America is just not working. 

7. There is so much to focus on and talk about: Venezuela, Iran, Greenland, Russia, Ukraine, China, Taiwan. Renee Nicole Good. ICE. Epstein. Not a single one of these important topics should be dropped. At the same time, to stay informed right now is to live in a pinball machine. 

8. Please tell me that someone somewhere is in a quiet room, drafting a vision of America that works better for everyone. Please also tell me that document will be ready—and fully internalized by multiple tiers of charismatic deliverers—at least six months before the midterms.