This Is Our Opportunity

“Honey, lately your low self-esteem is just good common sense.”

This line, delivered in devastating style by Cloris Leachman, is the only thing I remember from the 2004 Adam Sandler movie Spanglish. It haunts me whenever I feel hobbled by self-doubt. In other words: daily. 

Last week, I suggested that MAGA’s anger at being lied to creates an opening—a chance to identify common ground (“Hey! I also hate being lied to!”) and maybe even start foraging for common goals. 

After I pressed ‘publish’, I immediately felt foolish—not because I went with a poem format (that was just an effort to be concise on a platform overflowing with words) but rather because my hopefulness suddenly seemed so naive. 

I could practically hear the taunts: Really, Kate, after all the lies his base has willfully ignored, you think this Epstein stuff will actually matter???

But I did…and I still do. And here’s why: every single one of us gloriously fallible human beings responds differently to lies that we want to hear vs. lies that we can’t unhear. Lies that we want to hear are soothing in some way. Lies that we can’t unhearinsult our intelligence. They disrespect us. They piss us off. 

I haven’t been in a cult per se ::insert rueful laughter here:: but before my marriage, I did spend thirteen years in a relationship I should have left way sooner. On stage, I’ve focused mainly on the funny parts; the unfunny part was that I was stuck in a deeply inequitable arrangement and could not for the life of me find my way out. Well-meaning nudges from friends and family bounced right off me. 

What finally broke the spell was the relationship equivalent of Pam Bondi’s “I have the client list on my desk”/“there is no client list”—two statements, each offered as truth, that cannot help but cancel each other out. No matter who you are, or what else you learn, you suddenly know you’re being lied to. When that happens, it doesn’t matter what you want to believe: the bottom falls out. Trust is broken, and things are never the same again. 

So yeah, I think Epstein is going to continue to be a problem for Trump. The problem for Democrats is this: we know the rot surrounding Epstein was bipartisan. Do we have the moral clarity to condemn that rot, no matter where we find it? Can we excise it without flinching? Just as importantly, can we offer a populist vision that isn’t smoke and mirrors—one that provides crucial safety nets, balancing the need to pay for them with the need to reward excellence and innovation? I think we can. I also think we’d best start now.